On my way (to freedom?)

Anger is a theme these weeks. I knew once I read, listened and engaged again in societal topics surrounding injustices and activism that fire within me would be ignited again. I am glad of course, I'd been living in a state of apathy for far too long. I am also a bit scared. Once I allow myself to care, it can be all-consuming. I want to break, fix, and shake up EVERYTHING. And everyone should be on board with me, too. Though I definitely do not want to dampen my sense of urgency and the need to act again. It happened too many times before. However, I need to find a way to channel these feelings, thoughts and energies into actions that will fill me with purpose. And in the process, it is crucial to keep checking my expectations. Of myself and of others. I know once I wake up from this trance, it's difficult to grasp how anyone could not care about all these injustices in the world. This is a hard one. I don't think you can avoid being disappointed and frustrated with yourself and others if you fully dive into this work. But what I want to do this time is to focus on every small step and be conscious of the progress and celebrate it. It's especially hard to deal with the anger I feel toward the world, the unjust systems and political and corporate leaders who don't seem to have people's best interest in mind. It's hard to understand how so many things are deemed normal that should be so far from normal. And how many people are happy to ignore or arrange themselves with these conditions. Basically, just like what I've been doing. It does seem like the easier way of living. For me, it becomes clearer that this comfortable way of living comes at a huge cost. I'm not even talking about the people that are exploited in order to make our Western lifestyle possible, but the toll it takes on my own spirit. I live in 'happyland' or 'district 1' (for fans of the Hunger Games) while being flooded with all the information on the things that are going wrong in the world but also in our own backyards. The longer I live like this, the more I develop a latent hopelessness underneath a facade of not giving a shit or focusing on my own wellbeing. For me, there is no way back now. Hell no! The way forward is scary though. I might disagree with people, even close ones. That's a hard one for me. Even though I don't know the exact route yet, I know I am already on my way. I am taking the first tentative steps, fuelled only by righteous anger and the determination to create something better.