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Why I don't share

I've been thinking about opening this blog for a couple of weeks and now I did it. It feels weirdly empowering I must say. I don't have a plan for it, no theme or important ideas I must share. I decided I'm keeping this blog to myself for now. I might even never show it to anyone, only keeping a note somewhere for people to find  it if I die in an accident or in another tragic, premature way. Writing like this, in the belly of the internet, feels freeing somehow. I kind of thought it would. On social media I feel quite reluctant to share my thoughts, always apprehending a negative, or worse, no reaction. And I'm too afraid to seem self-important, self-righteous or straight up wrong. I feel anxiety thinking of having to retract an opinion I shared because someone pointed out it was racist, homophobic or just generally ignorant. And I feel like you can never protect yourself from it, since you'll always be ignorant about most things happening in the world outside of your small bubble. Basically, I would feel incredibly vulnerable and exposed if I actually put original thoughts of mine out there that I hadn't fact-checked and verified with people who seem to be just 'right about things'. Even in person, I often feel reluctant to share some thoughts I had, especially if I feel like they may be perceived as vaguely 'controversial'. The more I value the person's opinion OR if I think they are a particularly judgmental species, the more I avoid these topics. It feels empty sometimes, not real. I just can't bear for people to think I was easily influenced or drifting towards conspiracy theories or extreme opinions. 

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