Skip to main content

Family & poetry

I want to write, but it's not as easy to formulate my thoughts when other people are in the apartment with me (in this case my partner and the handyman). Therefore, instead of writing my original thoughts, I will share a poem I wrote last weekend. I'm actually rather proud of it, especially since it's been a while since I last wrote a poem I wanted to show to people. This one, I read it to my partner, two of my friends and my mom. My friend said it really touched her! And while rereading it, I saw that indeed it is special. And you know why? Because the moment I was writing it I was feeling an unnerving mix of feelings: uncertainty, longing, joy, regret and a tingly sort of awkwardness in my body. I guess my first instinct was to rationalise the shit out of these uncertain and uncomfortable feelings and try to take over with my mind. But then, I didn't. I was confronting the awkward and started weaving it into words. The theme was clear: bittersweetness. For a little bit of context, I had just spent the day with parts of my extended family for family reunion we do every one or two years. It had felt awkward at first, everyone trying to connect again more or less superficially, and at some point the connection felt real again and beautiful and I felt part of something fragile but unique.

So, here it is:

A bittersweet bond

Family together
a bittersweet feeling
apart for so long
but for this moment 
we are tethered to each other
by blood
experience
memories
and tradition
together at last
it's this beautiful energy
though many are missing
this unique synergy
why are we here
a year further 
in our lives that we don't share
only this moment unites us
bittersweetness in the air
we wish, we hope and plan
when will be the next time
why is this so rare
it is heartbreaking
how we all want
to connect
and be a family
but we get on with our lives
and often forget
that little ache
the empty spot
it's where you live
or are supposed to
the love for you tucked away
is it safe
or long too late
It's family
a bittersweet bond between people
who distract themselves
stay busy
keep moving
with their own lives
just to escape
this simple truth
we all long for it
but it seems like
an unfulfilled prophecy
just out of reach
most of the time
but now it's feeling real
we are all basking in it
Because
when will we feel it again

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Nothing's exactly wrong i.e. searching for meaning

I guess nothing's exactly wrong with my life. I mean, I feel like I literally have nothing to complain about. Even though that has never stopped anyone from complaining. I guess what I'm trying to say is, do you ever feel like the life you're living is somehow all wrong (or maybe not all, but major parts of it) and you feel so unsatisfied a lot of the time and trying to tweak it here and there but somehow you haven't figured out which parts need to be changed and to WHAT? I somehow blame all those activism pages, articles and movies about normal people doing extraordinary things, a thousand youtubers online who tell you about the endless possibilities of how to become awakened and alive and spiritual warriors or climate warriors or generally making yourself and the world better with your spiritual practice and all the good you do in the outside world. Are these people real and I'm just too much of a coward to not be one of them? Or are they not real, or at least bor...
Post a Comment
Read more

What to do when I'm really pissed off

I am angry, very angry right now. I can feel this fire burning in my heart and chest area, it feels painful and vibrating with intense energy. The rest of my body feels tense, my muscles contracting, my face and jaw tight. These are the physical sensations I am feeling right now and which are common for me to feel whenever I am angry. These physical sensations are accompanied by feelings of hatred, unfairness/indignation, humiliation and feeling inadequate and small. Some of these are directed at myself and some at others, but all suck and feel intense and painful. On top of that, thoughts are spiralling in my head around the reasons why I am (righteously) angry and why the person my anger is directed toward (and whose guts I hate right now!) is in the wrong and should be punished for how they made me feel. They fucking suck! They are so freaking selfish! How could they do this to me? I don't want to talk to them ever again! How can I punish them? How dare they talk to me like that...
Post a Comment
Read more